Stereotypically Liberal: questions answered and unanswered

I'm coming to realize how stereotypical my personal beliefs and convictions have become. On a recent Sunday passeggiata, a stroll home from the library which proceeded in the general form that gives this blog its name "Confident Stride," I got to thinking how predictable and, frankly, blasé my world view could be seen by others.

If I had to give a title to the meta-theme of most of my self reflective thoughts, the book would probably be called "How I almost became an Episcopalian." I'd always been an extremely religious, but never very spiritual person. While Church provided a community and friendships, there were many more people there for whom it was a continuous struggle to pretend to like, or people for whom my affection was never reciprocated. Releasing myself from seeking the approval of these two groups has added a little swagger to my "confident stride" as I no longer waste my time with people I don't like.

Two events in 2008 had a strong influence on acknowledging a growing feeling inside me that, while I would always be Catholic in a very real cultural way, I was really tired of going to church. These Events? World Youth Day 2008 in Sydney, and the 2008 presidential election. I encountered more closed-mindedness and hatred veiled as Catholic doctrine that my disappointment in my church finally boiled over. As my Catholic-themed honors thesis further demonstrated, the Church became an increasing source of frustration and target of anger.

A sucker for the ritual, music, and architecture that had marked the most important moments in my life, it was at this impasse that I could have easily wound up an Episcopalian, and just worked hard to ignore all the little things about Christianity that didn't seem to work in my world-view. Frankly, I don't believe that God has a plan for me, or that his hand is in everything that happens in my life. I'd like to take a little more credit for my own successes and failures. 'Christian family values' seem to provoke so much hatred and misunderstanding, I can't imagine that's worth hanging on to too tightly.

So today, my Sunday ritual is one of NPR and the public library. Perhaps Wednesday night fellowship services will be held at Mellow Mushroom or La Huerta- either way, spirits will be involved. My communion: fresh roasted coffee and hand-crafted beer. So stereotypical, so predictable, so white. But, for now, I'm pretty darn happy. My life is simpler, and I don't spend so much time worrying about things. I just amble around with my bag of library books and a Confident Stride. Maybe I'll go ride around on my bike and enjoy nature, however the hell it got there.

Catholic? Episcopal? Agnostic? Atheist? Methodist? Naturalist? Buddhist? Right now, I don't really care. Just don't tell my parents (happy father's day!)